The Avengers Headcanons

Submission #2471

Wed, 15 May 2013 02:11:38 -0700

As the Hellicarier is technically a ship that he is in command of, Nick Fury frequently officiates the weddings of his subordinates.

Submitted by dianariggslegs

Submission #2470

Tue, 14 May 2013 21:49:45 -0700

Darcy and Tony love Mean Girls, and decided to show the movie to everyone else.

Everyone loved it, perhaps a little too much. After the second week of excessive quoting, Fury banned anything to do with the movie.

Submitted by thesilverdoe394

Submission #2469

Tue, 14 May 2013 19:38:50 -0700

Everybody at SHIELD tells Chuck Norris jokes, but they change them so they are about Phil Coulson. Phil Coulson tells Chuck Norris jokes, but he changes them so they are about Captain America.

Coulson’s favorite is “Captain America once took a piss in a truck’s gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.”

Submitted by madman-with-a-pen

Submission #2468

Tue, 14 May 2013 17:27:53 -0700

The boxing gym where Steve works out is the gym where Battlin’ Jack Murdock used to train.

Submitted by madman-with-a-pen

Submission #2467

Tue, 14 May 2013 15:16:52 -0700

The Tesseract is a machine built with the element Tony uses to power his suits.

Submitted by anon

Submission #2466

Tue, 14 May 2013 13:06:05 -0700

Natasha is ambidextrous. She was born left handed, but the Red Room forced her to learn to use both hands equally. This is why she can use dual pistols efficiently in combat. Whenever she carries one gun, however, she always uses her left hand. Being a leftie is another thing she shares with Clint.

Submitted by madman-with-a-pen

Submission #2465

Tue, 14 May 2013 10:55:31 -0700

When Tony and Pepper get married, Tony wears gray sneakers with his tux just because he knows it will drive her crazy. The photographer gets a picture just as she sees his shoes and rolls her eyes, and Tony asks for a wallet sized version.

Submitted by fangirlandproudofit

Mother's Day

Tue, 14 May 2013 08:44:18 -0700

Content warning: miscarriage

Ever since they started working together, Clint buys Natasha tulips on Mother’s Day. The tradition came about when Clint found out she once had been pregnant, but had miscarried in the later stages. Ever since, he’s called her an “honorary mother” and makes sure that she has someone to be with on Mother’s Day.

Submitted by think—itsnotillegalyet

Submission #2464

Tue, 14 May 2013 06:33:05 -0700

Loki was the one who hid entry 2415…mainly because it included his secret plans for taking over Earth.

Submitted by rgpuck

Submission #2463

Tue, 14 May 2013 04:22:28 -0700

Natasha loves shopping—the other Avengers? Not so much. She gets frustrated going alone, since not even Clint will go with.

She does manage to steal Tony’s credit card, though.

Submitted by M

Submission #2462

Tue, 14 May 2013 02:11:53 -0700

As a very young girl, Pepper had a crush on Captain America. She would watch the Captain America cartoons and movies and dream of marrying him when she grew up.

There was much giggling when she met him for real.

Submitted by anon

Submission #2461

Mon, 13 May 2013 21:49:28 -0700

Content warning: police brutality

Steve claims that his father died in WWI, but it isn’t true. Steve’s father made it out alive and got home, where he had a job in a factory.

To protest poor working conditions and diminished wages, the workers went on strike. A couple of weeks later, Joseph was beaten to death by policemen paid by the factory owner.

The factory owner was Howard Stark Sr.

Submitted by dianariggslegs

answering these in a chunk b/c i don’t want to spam your...

Mon, 13 May 2013 20:40:39 -0700

answering these in a chunk b/c i don’t want to spam your dashes and also i think i smell bacon downstairs

you are all lovely and thank you so much for being great

I am gonna declare the matter closed to anons for now (because I want to answer you, but don’t want to keep it on everyone’s dashes) but if anyone would like to come off anon, i will of course keep talking!

I don't know, something like 'nsfwheadcanons' or 'shipheadcanons' for the tags, since I've found from experience that just tumblrsavioring 'nsfw' saviors a lot of irrelevant stuff that isn't actually nsfw at all.

Mon, 13 May 2013 20:38:09 -0700

That is actually an excellent idea! I shall take it into consideration.

Submission #2460

Mon, 13 May 2013 20:30:15 -0700

Surprisingly, referring to Aldritch as “Dragon Titties” made the whole ordeal slightly less traumatic for Tony.

Submitted by simpaticonebula

Thank you for posting everyone's headcanons, it makes you a good person and I love this blog for that. People can like what they like and who they like. If it wasn't for sex NONE OF US WOULD BE HERE INCLUDING STAN LEE WHICH MEANS MARVEL WOULDN'T BE HERE.

Mon, 13 May 2013 20:21:32 -0700

The really hilarious thing about all this is that I’m actually not a huge fan of the sexy headcanons, because I am not a huge fan of sex in general.

(shoutout to all my ace buddies, what what!)

I may not like them, but I’m gonna defend your right to submit and post them.

Because a lot of you do like them! And you guys liking things makes me happy!

Hey, I see a compromise option here. Would it be possible to tag ship and nsfw confessions with a separate, blog-specific tag of their own? That doesn't seem too difficult.

Mon, 13 May 2013 20:18:29 -0700

I already use the nsfw tag, although I haven’t had an explicit headcanon in a while, so I don’t remember how good I was about it in the past. I will be better about it in the future though!

I will consider adding a tag for shippy things, but part of me is resistant to the idea. I’m sure that’s just the irritation talking, I’ll probably come around soon enough.

I object to the oversexualization of characters in this fandom. For instance, Bucky's metal arm is not a sex toy. I could think of more examples, but I won't list them, since I find this trend ridiculous. There are MANY Avengers sex headcanons blogs that exist for that purpose, I see no reason to spread it into here. There are so many headcanons here that exist only to force ships, as well. Disappointing.

Mon, 13 May 2013 20:11:07 -0700

there are so many ridiculous things in this message so i’m just going to say:

nobody is “forcing” anything

you are not required to read/agree with everything here

there are plenty of non-sex headcanons as well

sex is a thing that people do okay

I’m sorry that you find this ridiculous and disappointing! Nobody’s forcing you to read those things!

But this blog is ship-positive and sex-positive, and if you don’t agree with that it might be best for us to part ways because I’m not going to start policing people’s headcanons.

needs moar butts

Mon, 13 May 2013 20:01:22 -0700

always

Also there hasn’t really been as much mod-follower interaction as there used to be, and I just...

Mon, 13 May 2013 19:56:54 -0700

Also there hasn’t really been as much mod-follower interaction as there used to be, and I just wanted to apologize for that (unless you were sick of me by the time I went radio-silent, in which case, you’re welcome, I suppose!).

At any rate, I’m hoping to get some more interaction going here, and make it more of a community if I can. We’ll see how that goes!